Due to popular demand, the fingers have yet again found within them a desire to change the world with words of wisdom. Typing alas is more than typing. Words are then more than words - and mind you each word has a "purpose"... if you can even give it such lamen's terminology. "Purpose" is but a mere iota of it all; it is only a glimpse of a realmed universe of which has the depth equivalent to our physical cosmos we call "space". Purpose, in continuation, is but a shred of the infinite veracity that should be automatically assumed before, during, and after reading these heavy doses of sage. Hit the lights, Tommy. You know you wanted the Pink ranger the whole time. Stop killing the puddies. She is beautiful!

Me

Although I have made all of you believe that I enjoy nonsense, I am in fact the most by-the-book person you may meet. In the morning, I always wake up at 7:36 A.M. and eat 235 cheerios saturated in 1% Publix Brand Milk. After that I go for a 2.53 Mile walk, followed by a 2.45 Mile run, followed by a .23 mile sprint. This is my way of life. I sit with perfect posture. I never fidget in my seat and smiles are rare.

Another random story "war"

Caleb (me): It was unbelievable... the orangutan just decided to file the tax return under the classification "Helicopter flavored peanuts"... those darned chapstick hoarders.
Mr. Geuder: Well, if it weren't for the frozen TV dinners, seventeen more pirates would have been left alone on stage to perform a Chinese language rendition of "Lobster Scales" without a single hockey puck in sight.
Caleb (me): Pertaining to the lost marshmallow shoebox: wasp. In case of emergency : Latitude. Zutilo, i missed one? Prince Henry the Navigator. Impossible missions (that is,: flax, mountaintop, sheep dance, mauled USB ports) , juggled by fretting box haulers, are being swept into the depths of the ocean of disgrace. Untie the bow ,and we will be reconciled to the truths of Bonshoop-pangst, which just happens to share the function and responsibility of Christmas Wreaths. By the way! Gnarled may be the hands of Nesquik, pero they y el aspiring trapeze artist (played by Judge Claude Frollo) have cleared their throats. Caskets are on sale at Wal-mart for 99 cents. Might want to hurry up. Retrospect - fertilizer^3 + Bangarang Peter^2 = Holy crap I ran out of aspirin to feed my goat.

Mapquest?

A bead of sweat fell from the head of the Beagle's nose as it was playing ping pong with one massive ember of Justice which was formed by 56 potatoes. This ember slightly resembled the normal paddle used in this fun sport, except its talons were shaved down to about the same length as the 432nd time Haverhill Boulevard's community Rooster Cockle doodle doo'ed. Unless you're going to eat it, just keep it inside the battlefield bag, so that Will Smith may truly see the meaning of the Yucatan Peninsula's flying quarks of impossibility. Dangle the pooridge in front of Jack the Ripper and of course he will offer you back a salami. I was barking when all of a sudden it snowed purple diamond encrusted turds. Wasp spray.

Robbing the bank of the souls of mailmen

and in continuing with that point we must concur on common grounds pertaining to the syrup-saturated sponge. The Sciatic! I can't retrieve the code, mother, because its time to feed the Triceratops - so Stop pestering me with such colloquialisms as "I was shopping for hydrocodone ashes at the mall" or "The grilling machine wasn't purple; It merely projected a forcefield which gave off the impression of a violaceous shade. Oppurtunity WASTED. After winging the first test, Jonathan resolved never to undulate amidst the presence of Fascist Quakers or any form of estar,hacer,tener,or ser. Rent the property; do not merely chop off its complementary hilltop.

Look to your left and cry for 57 seconds

Whence thy bird of summer retreat to his abode clad in dew laden grass, swift and ominous breezes wilst then blow. Boink! Proper shade and miracle grow and your Iphone will be fine. Without these fine amenities the Iphone will most predictably urinate in its own pants, and cry out, "Mommmmyyy!!" . Wedding day : March 30th. May we all raise our hands and spin violently in circles, trusting that Greta Van Susteren will some day resurrect the Ideals held by those of the 15th century colonists aboard the Pinta and NiÑa. Null and void? Null and void. Pop in that old and crusty altoid.

Fine silver, Japanese turtles, and Karma

"Repertoire!!!" Exclaimed the first baseman. Undeniable? Maybe. Excuse me while I bolster the level of my confidence by counting the prolific amount of Shekels and Denarii in the bosom and cradle of mankind. Plunging factoidal principles? ... not meant for tambourine playing monkeys. Indeed through this conundrum we may surmise through several methods of extrapolation that Paul Bunyan used cell phone towers for toothpicks. Whether or not the hissing cockroaches widdled their way through the Pentagon of Truth is dependent upon the amount of time it took for Bill Clinton's grilled cheese sandwich to be cooked. The pterodactyl's spawning period has Begun! Seize the power of its charge to our generation! Have you ever considered being less selfish... The pompous phantom of underwater charades. Imbibe...Imbibe.