Me

Although I have made all of you believe that I enjoy nonsense, I am in fact the most by-the-book person you may meet. In the morning, I always wake up at 7:36 A.M. and eat 235 cheerios saturated in 1% Publix Brand Milk. After that I go for a 2.53 Mile walk, followed by a 2.45 Mile run, followed by a .23 mile sprint. This is my way of life. I sit with perfect posture. I never fidget in my seat and smiles are rare.

Another random story "war"

Caleb (me): It was unbelievable... the orangutan just decided to file the tax return under the classification "Helicopter flavored peanuts"... those darned chapstick hoarders.
Mr. Geuder: Well, if it weren't for the frozen TV dinners, seventeen more pirates would have been left alone on stage to perform a Chinese language rendition of "Lobster Scales" without a single hockey puck in sight.
Caleb (me): Pertaining to the lost marshmallow shoebox: wasp. In case of emergency : Latitude. Zutilo, i missed one? Prince Henry the Navigator. Impossible missions (that is,: flax, mountaintop, sheep dance, mauled USB ports) , juggled by fretting box haulers, are being swept into the depths of the ocean of disgrace. Untie the bow ,and we will be reconciled to the truths of Bonshoop-pangst, which just happens to share the function and responsibility of Christmas Wreaths. By the way! Gnarled may be the hands of Nesquik, pero they y el aspiring trapeze artist (played by Judge Claude Frollo) have cleared their throats. Caskets are on sale at Wal-mart for 99 cents. Might want to hurry up. Retrospect - fertilizer^3 + Bangarang Peter^2 = Holy crap I ran out of aspirin to feed my goat.

Mapquest?

A bead of sweat fell from the head of the Beagle's nose as it was playing ping pong with one massive ember of Justice which was formed by 56 potatoes. This ember slightly resembled the normal paddle used in this fun sport, except its talons were shaved down to about the same length as the 432nd time Haverhill Boulevard's community Rooster Cockle doodle doo'ed. Unless you're going to eat it, just keep it inside the battlefield bag, so that Will Smith may truly see the meaning of the Yucatan Peninsula's flying quarks of impossibility. Dangle the pooridge in front of Jack the Ripper and of course he will offer you back a salami. I was barking when all of a sudden it snowed purple diamond encrusted turds. Wasp spray.

Robbing the bank of the souls of mailmen

and in continuing with that point we must concur on common grounds pertaining to the syrup-saturated sponge. The Sciatic! I can't retrieve the code, mother, because its time to feed the Triceratops - so Stop pestering me with such colloquialisms as "I was shopping for hydrocodone ashes at the mall" or "The grilling machine wasn't purple; It merely projected a forcefield which gave off the impression of a violaceous shade. Oppurtunity WASTED. After winging the first test, Jonathan resolved never to undulate amidst the presence of Fascist Quakers or any form of estar,hacer,tener,or ser. Rent the property; do not merely chop off its complementary hilltop.

Look to your left and cry for 57 seconds

Whence thy bird of summer retreat to his abode clad in dew laden grass, swift and ominous breezes wilst then blow. Boink! Proper shade and miracle grow and your Iphone will be fine. Without these fine amenities the Iphone will most predictably urinate in its own pants, and cry out, "Mommmmyyy!!" . Wedding day : March 30th. May we all raise our hands and spin violently in circles, trusting that Greta Van Susteren will some day resurrect the Ideals held by those of the 15th century colonists aboard the Pinta and NiÑa. Null and void? Null and void. Pop in that old and crusty altoid.

Fine silver, Japanese turtles, and Karma

"Repertoire!!!" Exclaimed the first baseman. Undeniable? Maybe. Excuse me while I bolster the level of my confidence by counting the prolific amount of Shekels and Denarii in the bosom and cradle of mankind. Plunging factoidal principles? ... not meant for tambourine playing monkeys. Indeed through this conundrum we may surmise through several methods of extrapolation that Paul Bunyan used cell phone towers for toothpicks. Whether or not the hissing cockroaches widdled their way through the Pentagon of Truth is dependent upon the amount of time it took for Bill Clinton's grilled cheese sandwich to be cooked. The pterodactyl's spawning period has Begun! Seize the power of its charge to our generation! Have you ever considered being less selfish... The pompous phantom of underwater charades. Imbibe...Imbibe.

5

Napsack. And when it begins, take your time; the grease left over from yesterdays inner city elementary school celebration day has not yet receded . Puddles remain in sporadic position throughout the zebra's quarters. We mus'n't perceive with our eyes. We must walk into this thing knowing that without a doubt, each grain of sand will turn into a helicopter armed with nuclear arsenal. Now thats dangerous. Lakehouses in missouri are depleting the supply of peanut butter in Australia. Impossible, you say? Yeah. Tell that to the wasp of iniquity. See what happens.

Pension

The bobby pin maker, Jabadoo , has a senior representative in Michael Popovich. He found Michael in the middle of a hurricane . As he was hunting a specific hurricane named Er, flying through the winds and rain, he spotted flocks of Ostriches mysteriously flying about. He at once surprised himself with a burp that sounded like Genesis 15:4 being recited. Los Angeles? On the totem pole is the emblem of the brotherhood: codename panda bear excursion team.

Random story War that I won

Chelsea Rossin- just yet, i ate a small racoon whom wasn't in love at all with anyone- to determined to change the world
Caleb Adams - I have one Juggernaut in my left pocket. Take it. Even though the gauntlet is worn by the helicopter goddess of shiite muslim territorial base Ngunwasretunas, I must still shake the carpet of biased individuals free of the dust of antiquitous bastard children.
Chelsea Rossin - but, my small mongoose ate your small fluffy antiquated mother !$$%$##%&&*(()%^#$%%^%&^,,,,, and when the momentous occasion arose, the small catterpillar located on the tree outside your window left a suprise for the dat wishing to ruin his day will lochness monster
Chelsea Rossin - spankyracafluonic flu that is
Caleb Adams - one more and i have to go
Caleb Adams - Banking on the fact that drainage systems are to the benefit of Barney's crack addiction, Mother Theresa lit up again. Anyways, triangle? Malnutrition. Potipher's wife was a transvestite? I already took the grabage out so that wont be necessary. Ghoul and ghost soup. I had 3 servings. Xexorx it to me then ill be fundamentally sound. The large impaired brother of quasimodo has 98 shekels with which he will purchase an old rusty weed-eater from a 90 year old Sage. Says the little man to the bavarian boy , " Do you eat the mothballs that I eat?" (in the same melody as Do you see what I see Christmas Song) - And at any rate the bill went to Geraldo's Dormitory- he was not happy but the duck of Justice chopped his face off.

Desperado

come to the place where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of capistrano.....whispered the sagacious duck, known for his wisdom and knowledge. Fugitive magazines grew legs. With these legs they carry the message of destruction, passed down through the generations. Each patriarch, related to quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre Dame, faked their own death. They achieved this by clicking a computer mouse 345 times , and falling on the ground - feigning a stroke. DANG IT im late to my F.H.U.W.C.P.E.Z.A.S.D.T. ( Featherdusting helicopter undermining wrestling corporation for police evading zealot abetting stationary debt transporters) meeting!

Align

The beer vender made his way over to the edge of the stadium and muttered, " my heart and soul mourn; my thirst to better know the tarantula alliance can not be quenched. I will be left to wither in the aridity of heartbreak." Many chortles came from the crowd - but not from the ridiculous beer vender. The chortles began due to the giant half chicken half squirrel flapping its wings, flying through the stadium exclaiming, " FINE! Tell the wizard he can create the peanut butter keys himself, and that I will not help him vacuum the dungeons anymore!" My godfather had his mustache trimmed? Get out of town.

The imperative sanction to dispose of the binoculars

It cannot. Simple may be the vernacular of Guanine's cousin, cytosine, but the congressional juggernaut Bill Paxton still disagrees quite vehemently. NASA. Pendulum? Foresee the coming halifax vestibule... THEN talk to me. THEN. Bask in the light of jubilance! I made 45 Xerox copies already, Uncle Seth. Stop pestering me for my honeycomb! Anyways, as I made my way through chapter 6, the most dangerous part of Chicago's downtown area, I screeched 103 times, to only incoherently screech one last time. I then was enveloped by a massive Molasses bubble. To escape from this bubble I pulled out my Ocarina and played Zelda's Lullaby. I was safe - no more wolverines were playing poker and laughing at my left nostril's overgrowth of hair. Pillowcases! Unite , for the time in which Dog hair is non-threatening to Ape lungs is soon over! Please insert 25 cents to continue.

the monkey on the porch

...and of course this monkey had no fur. It had no fur, whatsoever. On its way to ACE hardware store, it remembered the phrase, "A good father always writes letters to Nickelodeon studios". This preceded him fogging up the windows of his Hummer from his gasps and grunts of anger and hatred for green post-it notes. "He comido! Le dijo. Quiero comida...no mas! " The funny thing was, this was not a Hispanic monkey. He simply lapsed into what we at the San Diego zoo call " Nullified garbage truck destroyer syndrome" . Common. In conclusion, the monkey's aunt found her purse, and her landlord was aptly recompensed for the misfortune.